According to a 2014 study of the self-improvement market by Marketdata Enterprises, Americans spend over $500 million year on self-help books. That doesn’t even include classes, workshops, and seminars. Self-help is a gigantic industry, but there seems to be an equally popular counter movement. When I was in Rishikesh, India I saw several people reading a book called “The Art of Being Lazy.” Hippies were everywhere, and some people probably thought I was one of them.
Ever since Sean Penn played Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and Ferris Bueller became the hero of “slackers” everywhere, there seems to a significant part of society that likes to flaunt their lack of ambition like a seal upon the jacket of a frat boy. So, the question is, how do you find the balance between self-acceptance and personal growth?
Stop Lying to Yourself
The self-help industry preys upon self-loathing individuals that have an insatiable desire for acceptance of themselves, but more importantly, by society. They want to be stronger, thinner, smarter, more energetic and more successful so that they’ll be more popular. We are raised to think that we are never enough and that only the ultra-ambitious find success. This self-hatred is often the breeding ground for future burn-out. Once ambitious people finally throw up their hands and say “Fuck-it. What’s wrong with being average?”
Climbing the mountain of personal growth
I can’t count the number of times people have had said to me, “That’s just how I am.” Usually, it is in the context of some kind of personal self-criticism, like being overly shy, not being able to hold a job, or dealing with addictions. It’s nice to have a certain level of self-awareness, but I often wonder why they don’t just choose to make a change instead, especially if it would make them happier or healthier.
Learn to Love Yourself
I believe that choosing to improve oneself and to grow as a person is the ultimate sign of self-love. What a wonderful gift it is to yourself to focus on being healthier; physically, emotionally, or spiritually. It doesn’t mean that you hate yourself, but instead that you recognize an opportunity for growth. The important thing though is to love yourself during the process.
You are made in the image of God. In fact, you are part of God, and if God is love, then you must love yourself first and foremost. Only pursue personal growth out of self-love, not self-loathing, or all the self-help books in the world won’t help you.
Open Your Mind to Personal Growth
Personal growth is the beginning of a blessed transformation. You can go from sick to healthy, from fearful to happy. You can heal troubled relationships, let go of the past, and create the life you desire. But, it all begins with loving yourself. Then, and only then, can you effectively open your mind to personal growth and commit fully to the process.
Listen to Your Heart
Love
Some people could stand to be a little less ambitious, and to focus more on contentment and being present. Other people may need to stop numbing their pain with food and video games and take some action towards living a more healthy life. We are all on different journeys and at different stages of our trip. So, how do you know if you’re being lazy or just showing self-acceptance?
More than a few people have suggested that my personal lifestyle shift from over consumerism to living a simpler life might be the result of burn-out. The truth is, only I know the answer. You have to look inward at what is motivating your actions. For me, it’s a need for holistic health. If the motivation behind your personal growth comes from a desire for health and happiness than your chosen path is probably the right one. If your ambition is driven by a compelling need to impress others, it may be time to slow down and take a personal inventory.