Making Friends in India

The One Word from a Hater in India That Sent Me over the Edge

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You know that old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  Well, that’s bull shit!  The wrong words, at the wrong time, can be emotionally devastating. Even those of us that are often considered strong and independent have our breaking point. I’m no exception. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I recently had one of those moments when just one word from a hater sent me into a tail spin that lasted for days.

 

It hasn’t been easy adjusting to all the cultural differences in India.  The fact is, as much as I try to learn and adapt, I’m still an outsider here.  I’m reminded of it every day when people stare at me like some sort of monstrosity or don’t understand what I’m saying. Even if they do understand me, they often don’t understand my intent. I am constantly misunderstood and judged. It has been far more difficult to make friends here than I ever imagined.  I have finally managed to make a handful of friends, but it’s still a huge challenge to try not to offend each other or misjudge the other person’s behavior. I have been trying very hard to not be overly sensitive to such things, but the other day a hater said something to me that felt like a punch in the face!  Here is what happened. 

15 Things Every Expat Should Know About Living and Working in India

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India is a fascinating country, full of geographic wonders, rich history, unique cultural experiences, delicious food and adventures of all kinds, both good and bad.  Almost daily someone asks me if I am enjoying my stay in India, and the truth is, sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.  It depends on the day really. There is one thing for certain, if you are coming to India to work, be prepared for some serious culture shock!  Here are 15 things I wish I had known before coming here.

1. Workplace Culture:  Indian people are taught to respect their “seniors”.  Authority figures have tremendous power in India and their subordinates rarely question them. They typically do as they are told, no more and no less.  As a result, don’t expect your Indian coworkers or staff to speak up, give you great ideas or put in a lot of extra effort. On the flip side, they are a very social and hard working group of people and once you win their loyalty and respect they will work even harder for you.

2. Tardiness:  When we held our project kick off meeting everyone was late and we started an hour after it was scheduled.  I was horribly offended but soon learned that they mean no disrespect.  The traffic in India is atrocious (see number 3 below) and the simplest things (herd of cows in the road) can have a ripple effect that causes huge delays. The buses and trains are also often late for a number of reasons too which in turns causes their commuters to be late. In fact, I’ve yet to have a single interviewee show up on time for an interview. It’s just their culture.  If nothing else, India will teach you patience.

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Rishikesh India: Much More than Yoga, Vegetarian Food and Shopping! 

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Playing my wood flute besides the Ganges River, watching the birds soar high into the Himalaya Mountains, I felt like I never wanted to leave. Rishikesh does that to people. I know more than one person that has showed up in the quaint village only to decide not to leave. The town is brimming with visitors from all nations, creed and color, and most come for one thing, health. Whether it’s to enjoy the holy Ganges River, the many ashrams scattered throughout the hills, or all the vegetarian cuisine, it’s a great place to chill out and find peace with the world. 

Manali: Little Town of Big Surprises

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We were super excited about our trip to Manali so we left Delhi around midnight on a Friday night. It was a holiday weekend and we were hoping to miss traffic, but we didn’t. Instead it took us five hours to get out of Delhi! Finally the roads cleared somewhere around daybreak and we welcomed the clearing air, blue skies and quaint villages, along with the first dawn of our nine day vacation. We drove through the cute towns of Mandi and Kullu where we stopped at a fruit stand for some fresh apples. I eventually took my turn at the wheel so Kirti could take some much deserved rest before navigating the steep winding roads of the Himalaya Mountains. Finally, 18.5 hours later, we arrived in Manali. Little did we know that Manali is a little town full of big surprises.

7 Things That are Different Between Getting a Massage in the U.S and Getting One in India?

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One of my favorite indulgences while living in India is getting a massage.  It only costs me $15 USD!  However, there are some significant differences between a massage in India and one in the U.S.

1. The first thing I noticed is that they give you disposable panties to wear. They look like a paper shower cap with leg holes. I guess they give them to you so you don’t get oil on your underwater.  They look funny but are adequate for the purpose.  

The Ganga River

7 More Things That I Like About India

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I realize I’m guilty of bitching about things over here so it’s high time I share some more things with you that I appreciate about India. There are many special things that I like about India, and here are my top seven.

Love

I know it’s corny, but I love my boyfriend, Kirti, very much. I never expected to find love in India. The best I hoped for was maybe a companion and a little fun. But four months into our relationship we are very much in love, in spite of significant cultural differences. He is adventurous, funny, smart, and compassionate.  Kirti has made a huge difference in my life and has made my adjustment to life in India much easier. I am thankful for him every day! I guess you never know when and where love might strike, so keep an open mind.

Road trips

There are so many cool places to visit over here!  From mountains to beaches to ancient forts and spectacular temples, it is all incredible!!  Plus it is very close to so many other countries that there are endless possibilities for vacations and it’s hard to narrow it down. Soon I hope to visit Nepal, Sri Lanka and Thailand, maybe even Africa. 

Commute in India

What is it Like to Live and Work in India? 7 More Things You Should Know

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Working in India has many similarities to working in the U.S.  It also has many differences. I can only speak of my experiences so far and it includes working with one of the largest companies in India.

Working Conditions Vary

The building we are in has nearly 4,000 workers. It’s quite modern with lots of glass. It even has a glass elevator, large fountain in the lobby, a huge open courtyard with palm trees in the center, cafeteria and daycare. The bathrooms have bathroom attendants. Directly across the street is a huge pile of garbage and homeless people. It is quite a contrast. The street vendors argue for the best spaces out front and dozens of tuck-tucks await their eager passengers ready to commute home after a long day of work.